When I was a teenager my oldest brother once brought his whole family home for a visit.  One evening we’re about to sit down to supper, and I went outside and called to my three-year-old nephew, “Come on in the house, Tom.”  This blond, red-cheeked “angel” stopped and, with a big smile on his face, retorted “You’re not the boss of me!”  (I can only imagine what my parents would have done had I said that to my uncle, but I digress.)  I said “Well, your dad wants you in the house for supper.”  That did the trick.

Later, during one of my military leadership classes in college, the professor cautioned us about saying things like “the boss wants…” or “the captain says…”  This is especially tempting when you know that what you’re about to say is going to be unpopular.  But when you use those phrases, you’re essentially saying to your people “Hey, this isn’t my idea!  I’m only doing this because the boss wants it that way.” 

The problem with this, my professor said, is twofold.  First, you’re demonstrating that you’re more concerned about being popular than taking charge.  You’re training your people to respect the boss and not you.  You’ll have zero credibility with your organization - they’ll subconsciously start thinking “you’re not the boss of me!” 

Secondly, you’re undercutting your boss.  You’re telling your organization that you disagree with him - in other words, the boss is wrong.  And your people start thinking, “If he’s not gonna back the boss in front of us, will he back us when he’s in front of the boss?”  Doubts about your integrity and loyalty will soon emerge.

My professor taught us - and my own experience has borne this out - that your people are a reflection of you as a leader.  How you treat them is how they treat you.  You want loyalty?  You demonstrate loyalty, both to them and up the chain of command.  You want respect for your authority?  Then you demonstrate respect for your boss’s authority.  This isn’t always easy - but as the cliché goes, “if it were easy, everyone would do it.”

Today’s podcast is a discussion of one of the earliest US naval leaders.  He was a successful businessman, an extremely competent mariner, and experienced leader.  He seemed to be the ideal choice for his job . . . but he had one problem.  Check out the story.  I’m looking forward to your comments on this one!  (5:56)

 

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